My Fathers day started at Church, Most church messages today will be dedicated to the fathers. A few years ago these church messages most of the time made me sad. Because I didn't Have a Father to celebrate this day with, or to say happy fathers day to. Today Was a bit different I felt happy for all the fathers and felt proud of all the fathers that are taking their responsibility. But then I thought But what About all the people that had to experience life without a father? That still feel sad about not having a father? Who actually thinks about the fatherless? Well I Felt that I had to put this out there and talk about my experience as a fatherless child.
This blogpost took me a while to wright and fathers day is almost over. I am going to tell you a big part of the way I experience life along with my struggles and emotions.
Growing up without a Father felt horrible and especially rejected for me. And only the Fatherless will understand this feeling. Most of us don't Make this a serious issue because it is a common problem nowadays. It is becoming normal to not have, or know your Father. I want to really tell to all who feel rejected and angry and not wanted and especially the fatherless that It is actually a blessing not to have an earthly father. You might not understand me now, but I will tell you more about it.
When I was 10-18 years of age I struggled a lot with the issue of Not knowing My father and especially the question why? I struggled A lot with the questions: why didn't he want to know me, was I not worth It? Was I not special enough? I also struggled with not feeling protected, It felt like I had to do everything on my own. It also felt like we have no one to look up to and on and on and on... In that period of my life I came to realize these questions were not going to help me. Indeed I had to figure It out myself. You guys might think: this doesn't sound like a blessing..
Well growing up I had the privilege to have a mother Her 3 brothers, Grandma and Grandpa. I also had the privilege to learn a lot about God in Sunday school and by watching a lot of Godly kids programs like the donut man. I remember as a kid always talking to God, about my daily life, and little things that bothered me. I remember also praying every night asking God to help me learn Get good grades and keep me wise. I think I was 5/7 years old, and every night I would look up and see 1 bright star and talk to God and really feel and know He was right their with me. This period of my life I was 0-10 years old and lived On Curacao with the whole family. After this I moved to Holland with My mother and I had to leave the whole family.
This is were My journey began and all the questions start popping up. Of course I got older and became more aware of things that are going on in life. I felt really alone sometimes and missed my family a lot, But then again I would talk to God and feel fine. He was always there to comfort me.
I am 23 years old now, And the past couple of years I got to see a lot of blessings in my life. this is the part that I also realized what a blessing It was Not knowing my earthly Father. I realized That I had a Perfect and that I got the BEST father a child could ask for and even more and more and more. What I mean is, Not Having the privilege to know my earthly father in life. Draw me so close to God realizing that He was always their to be my Father. God was always their to make me feel oké even if it was not oke. He gave me My Grandpa and my uncle as a father figure who blessed me all those years and are still blessing me now. Are you getting what I'am trying to say?
God is there for all of you who don't have a father. He is the best Father you can have. He is the richest of them all, he knows everything, and loves you more then a earthly father could ever love you your entire life. Earthly fathers can break promises and disappoint you. Did you know God would never do that!? Who wouldn't want there daddy to be the wisest and richest and most loving person in their life. Well I have some great news for all of you, you Do have a father like that. God WANTS to be your Father. He is my Father, Happy Fathers day My Father God.
I Hope this encouraged all who don't know or have a father out their. And please understand I didn't say it is easy to live without a father, But If you can see the blessing in the situation. It will really turn your life around. I am not saying things will get better or your problems will go away, but knowing God is always there to catch you or comfort you, makes life sure a lot more peaceful and happy.
I also want to say to my earthly father, I don't judge you for your actions, I am not even angry for you not being there, I even love you and would really want to get to know you. But This I will leave to God and I surely know He knows whats best for me.
Please don't hesitate to share this with all who struggle not having a father in life, Perhaps this little spark of a message will make your life shine again.
With love Kyrsten